Begin Again
by FigFan
Summary: So, really, you’re back to where you started. Except now everyone expects you to be over it, over him.


Title: Begin Again

Author: FigFan

Rating: G

Spoilers: Up through 2x14- "Tell Me Sweet Little Lies"

Summary: So, really, you're back to where you started. Except now everyone expects you to be over it, over him.

Disclaimer: So not mine. I just like to play with them for a while. Because who wouldn't?

Feedback rules. figfan2002 at yahoo dot com

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The ride home is a lot quieter than the ride out to the trailer. You don't mind, not really. Neither George nor Izzie seem to have much to say, so you take the chance to appreciate the silence. You don't get enough of it in your life.

In the rearview mirror you can see Izzie worrying about you. She does that.

"He'll be fine."

You shoot her a look. You do not want to be having this conversation right now.

"The dog, Mere. They have lots of land out there. He can be free, run around all day. Derek will take good care of him."

"Yeah," you respond, focusing on the fact that she said _they_ have lots of land, not _he _has lots of land. You wonder if it's a "they" type of thing now. Does she call it her trailer?

"Anyone else find it strange that Addison was so eager to take him?"

"George!" Izzie leans forward and swats him across the back of his head. He mutters, rubs his head absently and returns to looking out the window.

The irony's not lost on you. She now has the man you love (sometimes you wish it was loved) and the dog you love. You wonder what's next.

And you're miserable about it. Both the part about the dog and the part about the man. But what makes you more miserable is that as much as you want to, you can't hate her.

Because when it comes down to it, you're both women in love. She just happens to have the history- and the ring- to back it up.

You tried, in the first few weeks, to take it one day at a time. Thinking that each day would be a little better than the last. And it was, for a while. Until avoiding him turned into professional conversations, professional conversations turned into friendly banter, and friendly banter turned into meaningful stares and clandestine flirting.

That's when you realized you were in love with him again. Or maybe you just never stopped loving him.

So, really, you're back to where you started. Except now everyone expects you to be over it, over him.

So you tell them that you're friends now, although you don't think anyone believes you. Cristina was the first one to call you out on it.

You're sure the others will catch on soon.

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Later that night you apologize to George. You try and explain that the dog was never above him, that you were just having a moment, and obviously you'd rather him be living here. It's one of the few times you've been honest all day.

He forgives you, and you are both now lying across the bed, legs dangling over the side, staring at the ceiling. It's comfortable.

"He misses you too, you know."

You turn your head in his direction. "I almost kicked you out today. You don't have to try and cheer me up."

"No, it's true. You can tell. He looks at you differently than everyone else."

You raise an eyebrow at him. "And what, you've been keeping tabs on this?"

He looks flustered, the color rising in his face. "Of course not! I mean… no. Not just me. Cristina and Izzie see it too."

"Well, even if it was true, it doesn't matter." You sit up and scoot back to the headboard; grabbing a pillow and wedging it behind you. "He's working on his marriage. They have a dog now."

"Maybe he'll pee on her shoes or something."

You can't help but laugh at that. Because even though you can't hate her, you don't have to like her either.

"It'll all work out…"

"George, you don't have to-"

He sits up and cuts you off. "Okay. Maybe it won't work out. Maybe they'll fix their problems and have lots of red curly haired babies."

You flinch at that.

"But either way, you'll be fine. You're Meredith Grey, cunning and successful surgeon."

A smile sneaks its way across your face. "Okay."

He gives you a quick squeeze of the shoulders and a kiss on the head before he heads out the door. "You'll be fine."

"I'll be fine," you repeat.

Hopefully that won't turn out to be a lie.


End file.
